Early in my mission and even at times now i found myself measuring my growth and my testimony compared to that of the others around me! i thought wow they have great spanish why isn`t mine like that? or sometimes it was almost a competition! like, Well my spanish is better than his I am so great! Look at how good my spanish is!
Those may be the extremes, but yes i was comparing myself to others and their growth. I looked for comfort in being better than someone or maybe more obedient than someone! Everything i was doing was about an outward display of what kind of Missionary Elder Groen was and is! I still struggle with this every day! i struggle to really understand my motivations for everything i do. But i now realize the Pride that was and is involved with this attitude that i had and still have. I am now where near perfect with this idea. but now i see it living in me!
It is this aweful monster called Pride! pride is in each of us, but it doesn`t want to be seen. it tries to hide and make its self something noble and great, when really it is one of the most sorry and weak carracteristics. It is the very thing that caused Satan to fall and bring 1/3 with him. it is the verything that has caused many to forget testimonies, love, and conversion all for things of the world! I realize how much pride i have! everyday i am trying to conquer my pride and find new ways to ask for forgiveness and live for a new purpose. but it is so hard! and in the hard moments i remember the words of my mother! you can do hard things!!! so i hope that together this week we can all notice our pride and do all we can to overcome it!!
With all the love in the world Elder Groen!!!!!